Unglued Bible Study Ch. 2

"YES"!!!!  That is my answer to Melissa's question "Do you feel like Lysa has been following you around" as I am reading this book.  It's so easy to become 'unglued' over things that are so far out of our control, like Lysa's computer/dog vomit situation.

Perspective, perspective, perspective.  I pray, Lord, to look at all circumstances from the 'right' (Your) perspective.  The reason there is always 3 sides to a story is because there are always 2 perspectives (and then the correct, accurate account).  We are human and are naturally wired to look at situations from MY perspective, because, after all, I know best, right?  No.  

Emotions are not truths, we shouldn't respond to them like they are.  I do not want negative patterns of thoughts because my emotions are tied to my thoughts.  I will develop new responses by developing new thoughts!  I will renew my mind with new thoughts.  How?  With new perspectives!

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" 2Corinthians 10:5

I will repeat and commit to memory what Lysa says so many times in this book: "I can't control the things that happen to me each day, but I can control how I think about them.....I have a choice to have destructive thoughts or constructive thoughts right now.  I can wallow in what's wrong and make things worse, or I can ask God for a better perspective to help me see good even when I don't feel good."  I want this to be my pattern too!

I cannot fix everything on my own!  Why do I try and who says it needed to be fixed in the first place.  My emotions usually run thin with people, not things.  People don't need fixing, my perspective of them does, though.  God is in control!  Stop trying because it's not working and honestly I would mess things up if it did!

(I was able to keep my cool today by thinking about my study!  Just a little step but so excited because it would have been easier, albeit not better, to yell and get it over with.)

Unglued Bible Study Ch. 1

I'm so excited to start ready Lysa Terkeirst's book Unglued last night.  I joined an online bible study which is something new for me, but great because I can log on anytime I get a chance!  So much jumped into my heart in this first chapter - its been 7 pages of WOW mixed with conviction, but covered with hope!  As hard as it is for me to admit, I become unglued way too often with the people that I love the most and the people that God chose me to help lead, nurture and 'do life with'.  I'm tired!  Physically tired but most of all tired of letting my emotions control me.  Just as Lysa admits that she has vowed to do better so many times, I too lay in bed and think "I will do better tomorrow.  I will be more patient and not harp on the small stuff."  Then the morning comes and the chaos begins.  But I love this chaos because I love the ones helping create it!  But when I fail, which I will, I hope to remember what Lysa says about not needing to bend under the weight of past mistakes.  That kind of bending breaks us.   She goes on to write, "..we will bow to the One who holds out hope for a better future.  It's a truth-filled future in which God reveals how emotions can work for us instead of against us."  Lord, help me work to glorify you in everything I do!  I WILL NOT destroy the relationships I value most or weave into my life permanent threads of short-temperedness, shame, fear, or frustrations.
Emotions are difficult things!  Lysa writes, "Emotions allow us to feel as we experience life....God gave me emotions so I could experience life, not destroy it.  There is a gentle discipline to it all."  I pray that I am receptive to learning that discipline and living it out.
Our current series at church is Family Matters, which ties in so great with this book.  Pastor Robert reminded us parents that what our children learn at school or a church doesn't compare to what they are learning in their homes.  Do my children see me living out the faith that I proclaim to have?  Do they believe that I really trust what I am telling them?  Please, Heavenly Father, help me live in a way that shows your love!
Thanks Lysa!  So excited to read more!

Awesomeness

`There is so much going on right now! Chris has recently broken away from his business partners to start his own adventure names Artistic Apparel. Same industry he has been in for many years, but it is finally his - everything, including 100% of the work, bills and debt. It's scary but we have no doubt that we are doing the right thing.
God has laid on my heart, although I am completely unequipped in every aspect, to adopt a child from Africa. More on that in another post.
My mom fell several weeks ago, breaking her knee cap and fracturing a rib. I have transported her to numerous doctors appointments, cleaned her home, been grocery shopping, etc. for her and still need to do more (would like to do more).
Everyday life is so jammed packed with things. All good things, just jammed packed with them. Which leads to little time to breathe and let life soak in.
The weather in High Point this winter has been great, up until the past 3 days. We have been able to ride bikes after school, which is one of the many things I love doing with my 2 girls. Everyone gets exercise and it is such a release. Leah has been off training wheels for a while now and we are to the point that I don't feel like I must run behind her when she is riding. She knows that I caution her from riding too fast because stopping is still a struggle for her. One day she starting going down a hill in our neighborhood and gradually picked up lots of speed. I yell for her to slow down (probably 1000 times). She finally yells back at me, "The awesomeness is running through my body. I can't slow down!". Love it. She felt good! She had mastered the 2 wheels and just felt awesome.
It's these moments that I will reflect on when my children have left home and I pray that I will not forgot. I also pray that when life is trying to knock them down, they will remember how it feels when the awesome runs through their body.

Happy Birthday to my beautiful 10 year old, Cecilia! Cecilia's birthday falls on a Monday this year, which happens to be the Monday we celebrate MLK's bday - sooooo no school! What a nice birthday gift (for her and me).

I was talking to a friend yesterday who gave birth to her 4 child 14 days ago. We shared delivery stories with each other - the funny and the PAIN! Childbirth is painfull. The pain is not only physical, but also mentally, emotionally, relationally. As mothers our bodies and our worlds are changed forever. If it is so painful, why have more than 1? Everyone says you forget how bad it hurts and maybe there is truth in that. But.....we know it hurts like nothing else, but we decide to do it again. Because the pain is worth the reward.

Childbirth pain relates to the many pains, or trials, that God leads us through. Without the pain of childbirth we wouldn't have our beautiful children. Without trials we wouldn't have the precious moments when we come out on the other side and see so vividly God's hand guiding us through, God's body planted firmly beside us for us to lean (or completely fall upon) through every step, God's voice so clear on those sleepless nights, angels that God puts in our lives to encourage us in our valley's.

Thank you, God, for the pain. Thank you for the trials. Although I may grumble and complain, I know you are growing me. Grow me, Lord, to be more like you with each passing moment. Grow me to love you and your people more deeply. Thank you for sharing Cecilia, your child, with me for these 10 wonderful years. She has taught me so much about myself: what kind of mother I want to be; what kind of mother I do not want to be; how to love another person with absolutely no conditions; so many other things.

Christmas 2011

This year's Christmas flew by like the past few year's celebrations! I was so thankful that Christmas fell on a Sunday and we were able to spend the 11 0'clock hour with our church family praising God for sending his son to die for us. The pastor preached on the reason we celebrate Jesus' birth and illustrated it well. What a life Jesus led, He was born to die. The baby's hands that Mary held were made to have nails driven in them; the head that Mary kissed were made to have a crown of thorns laid on it; the body that she held was made to be beaten and tortured....the same one that on the third day after his crucifixion rose! Thank you Jesus for beating death by death and for taking the punishment for my filthy sin. Thank you for dying for me!
Christmas Eve night Leah and I had 'the' talk about Santa. I struggle, and have for a long time, with my children's belief in Santa. Leah has always been terrified with the thought of a big man coming into her house while she is sleeping, even if it was to bring her a boat-load of presents. I was so sad to watch her be fearful - she was under my heels all day, had woken up several times during the past weeks with nightmares, etc. - that I decided to let her in on the news - Santa is not real. She took it well and the talk actually turned out to be a very precious moment for us. After hearing the news, she claimed that she kind of already knew that Santa was one of those 'methods' (myths). She had also wondered how he came through the chimeny because we do not believe in magic. She asked me who bought their IPods last year and when I told her that her dad and I did, she said, "Is that how you lost your money?". Very sweet. I then had to know if by telling her I had let her down on Christmas Eve. She said "no" and that she felt better. I hope so!
Not sure if Cecilia still believes. She told me she doesn't believe in the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny but still believes in Santa. She also said that a lot of kids in her class do not believe in Santa anymore. As much as I struggle with believing in these fictional characters, somehow it feels sad to me that this is the last year that either will believe. Strange, huh? I think it is just the reality that my children are growing up so quickly.

Girls!

It's hard being a girl, emotionally. I just don't remember the emotions starting quit this young! Leah is 6 and is trying to sort through the dynamics of friendships lately. There are 3 girls that are good friends in her class (one of them being her). Probably enough said, right? Leah consistently feels left out and that they don't love her. So....I encourage her to play with other people. And what does she do? She listen and obeys. Not sure that was the best advice. Now she has decided to 'best befriend' another girl and ignore her old friends. "Lord, help me advise this sweet child."

The friendship issues coupled with a few other incidents resulting in Leah's name getting written on the board led to a conversation between her and I this afternoon. This is how it went:

Me: "Leah, I am dissappointed with your behavior lately"

Leah: "Mommy, I am not trying to" followed by a sweet hug

Me: "I love you, Leah. You need to start being nicer to all of your friends, not just the one that you choose to play with that day."

Leah: "Mommy.....I think it's Cecilia's fault."

Me: "What???"

Leah: "I think it's Cecilia's fault. You know, the behavior thing."

Talk about passing the blame!

Short Week

We had a short work and school week due to President's Day on Monday. Very thankful for my Monday to spend with my girls. We went to visit some people we hadn't seen in a while, had some friends over to play and also went to Oak Hollow Lake marina for a picnic - well, more like eating in the hatch of the Volkswagon. We were forced to eat in the back of my station wagon when we were being followed by a combinations of no less than 30 ducks and seagulls. And, while we were eating we had an audience, hoping that we would drop morsels on the pavement.

The rest of the week went by quickly and without any big drama. Love weeks like that. Now looking forward to a nice weekend with beautiful weather.

Cecilia is going to a sleep over party (although she is not actually spending the night) with her Sunday School class tonight. I told Leah that she and I could have a special night together to which she replies "Can we tell Daddy to go back to work so we can have a GNO?". Excited about this precious time to spend with Leah.

Not sure what the rest of the weekend holds but whatever it is, we will be outside. The days are getting longer and I'm lovin' it!