Christmas 2011

This year's Christmas flew by like the past few year's celebrations! I was so thankful that Christmas fell on a Sunday and we were able to spend the 11 0'clock hour with our church family praising God for sending his son to die for us. The pastor preached on the reason we celebrate Jesus' birth and illustrated it well. What a life Jesus led, He was born to die. The baby's hands that Mary held were made to have nails driven in them; the head that Mary kissed were made to have a crown of thorns laid on it; the body that she held was made to be beaten and tortured....the same one that on the third day after his crucifixion rose! Thank you Jesus for beating death by death and for taking the punishment for my filthy sin. Thank you for dying for me!
Christmas Eve night Leah and I had 'the' talk about Santa. I struggle, and have for a long time, with my children's belief in Santa. Leah has always been terrified with the thought of a big man coming into her house while she is sleeping, even if it was to bring her a boat-load of presents. I was so sad to watch her be fearful - she was under my heels all day, had woken up several times during the past weeks with nightmares, etc. - that I decided to let her in on the news - Santa is not real. She took it well and the talk actually turned out to be a very precious moment for us. After hearing the news, she claimed that she kind of already knew that Santa was one of those 'methods' (myths). She had also wondered how he came through the chimeny because we do not believe in magic. She asked me who bought their IPods last year and when I told her that her dad and I did, she said, "Is that how you lost your money?". Very sweet. I then had to know if by telling her I had let her down on Christmas Eve. She said "no" and that she felt better. I hope so!
Not sure if Cecilia still believes. She told me she doesn't believe in the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny but still believes in Santa. She also said that a lot of kids in her class do not believe in Santa anymore. As much as I struggle with believing in these fictional characters, somehow it feels sad to me that this is the last year that either will believe. Strange, huh? I think it is just the reality that my children are growing up so quickly.

Girls!

It's hard being a girl, emotionally. I just don't remember the emotions starting quit this young! Leah is 6 and is trying to sort through the dynamics of friendships lately. There are 3 girls that are good friends in her class (one of them being her). Probably enough said, right? Leah consistently feels left out and that they don't love her. So....I encourage her to play with other people. And what does she do? She listen and obeys. Not sure that was the best advice. Now she has decided to 'best befriend' another girl and ignore her old friends. "Lord, help me advise this sweet child."

The friendship issues coupled with a few other incidents resulting in Leah's name getting written on the board led to a conversation between her and I this afternoon. This is how it went:

Me: "Leah, I am dissappointed with your behavior lately"

Leah: "Mommy, I am not trying to" followed by a sweet hug

Me: "I love you, Leah. You need to start being nicer to all of your friends, not just the one that you choose to play with that day."

Leah: "Mommy.....I think it's Cecilia's fault."

Me: "What???"

Leah: "I think it's Cecilia's fault. You know, the behavior thing."

Talk about passing the blame!

Short Week

We had a short work and school week due to President's Day on Monday. Very thankful for my Monday to spend with my girls. We went to visit some people we hadn't seen in a while, had some friends over to play and also went to Oak Hollow Lake marina for a picnic - well, more like eating in the hatch of the Volkswagon. We were forced to eat in the back of my station wagon when we were being followed by a combinations of no less than 30 ducks and seagulls. And, while we were eating we had an audience, hoping that we would drop morsels on the pavement.

The rest of the week went by quickly and without any big drama. Love weeks like that. Now looking forward to a nice weekend with beautiful weather.

Cecilia is going to a sleep over party (although she is not actually spending the night) with her Sunday School class tonight. I told Leah that she and I could have a special night together to which she replies "Can we tell Daddy to go back to work so we can have a GNO?". Excited about this precious time to spend with Leah.

Not sure what the rest of the weekend holds but whatever it is, we will be outside. The days are getting longer and I'm lovin' it!

Rainbow

Thank you, God, for your subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) reminders that you love me!

An old friend of mine posted a link to an infant's Caringbridge page on Facebook. Saddened that this may be my friend's baby, I opened up the link. It was not her baby, but someone's baby none-the-less. This is the first thing I read : "Harlow earned her wings this morning". Wow, I immediately felt a rush of sorrow and heartache run through my entire being. I read through this families heartbreaking journey caring for their terminally ill baby girl. While I was trying to clear the massive lump that had formed in my throat, I prayed. Prayed for these young parents who's baby had just 'earned her wings'.

Going home for lunch the next day I was stopped at a stoplight. My heart was heavy as I thought of the many young people I know that are either fighting a terminal illness or have recently lost their battle. I have watched as their loving parents pray and nurture their babies, knowing that God has a plan for their child that was very different from their own.

As I sat at that stoplight I thanked God for giving me my 2 beautiful children, for allowing me to love another human more than I knew possible. I thanked Him for their health. God gives us so much...and He also takes away. Humbling. I was going through an act of self-torture as I put myself in these other parents shoes when they were told of their children's health. I pictured the doctor telling me that one of my daughters was ill and that there was nothing they could do. I felt helpless, weak - the massive lump in my throat was back. As my eye filled with tears something caught my attention on the passenger door of my Volkswagon. A reflection of a rainbow, an arched spectrum of color - like a perfectly drawn rainbow. God's promises!

God doesn't promise me tomorrow. God doesn't promise me that my children will be healthy. God does promise to love me. And if He loves me, he will comfort me.

Thank you, God, for sending me a special message while I was 'stuck' at the red light!

Leah and I visited the High Point Public Library this week. I was searching for some decent workout DVD's that I could do at home. Our library is truly fantastic and I do not utilize it nearly enough. We were on our way up the stairs to the third floor where I began my search. To be honest, I was griping in my mind about how poor pitiful me cannot afford my gym membership anymore and that I am now reduced to doing aerobics in my living room (and, according to my husband, make the whole house shake when I jump!! So encouraging). I found a couple that looked tolerable and Leah and I started down the steps to the children's section. As we were walking down the steps Leah pointed to a large window revealing a room of people on computers. She was curious about why they were using the computers at the library and not at home. There were so many people in there, people of all different ages, races, etc. So....here I am feeling sorry for myself because I can't go to the YMCA yet I CAN go home in my yoga pants and tshirt and surf the Internet. I don't have to drag my kids out of the house on a cold night so they can finish their homework or so I can check my emails. Spoiled I am! I take so much for granted. My heart has been heavy this Christmas for several families that I know that have suffered the loss of a child this past year. Yet I have my children safe and sound and healthy laughing through the holiday madness. A friend of mine in Moms In Touch refers to the often chaotic/disappointing/annoying experiences of our lives with children as her joy. When your children come in the house and tracks mud from one side to the other....that is your joy that your children are healthy enough to have been outside playing. When you child drops the milk jug on the floor while pouring a glass of milk...that is your joy that they are able to use their arms to pour them a glass of milk, there are many that cannot. When you find permanent marker on your wall...that is your joy that your child has been creatively expressing themselves through art. You get the point. So much easier to sit behind my computer when it's quiet and write this than to be in the middle of one of these events. Find the joy in your life, I am.

Long time...

Well, I had all the intentions in the world to document life happenings in this blog. However, I haven't blogged in .... actually I'm not sure when the last time was! So much for committment.
Our white Christmas flew by. The kids had 2 weeks off of school and I only worked 2 days during that 2 week period...lovely. The break was packed full of family functions, roller skating, ice skating, movies, staying up late and sleeping late. We went to Chris' grandfather's house, Chris' dad's house, the Gilbert Christmas get-together, my mom's house. The snow was beautiful. Although I would rather been in a warm climate, we did enjoy sledding at HP Country Club with friends. Leah loved the snowboard! Not much gets her more excited than hitting the jump! Hmmm, could this be Chris' daughter?
The girls were covered up in presents, the majority coming from the ever so giving Grammy. Giving is definetly her love language (and my stress). Not that I do not appreciate her help with material needs for the girls. I simply cannot stand clutter! And that is what 95% of the 'things' that the girls receive become - clutter. There favorite gifts included IPod Touch, Wii games, new comforters for their beds and gift cards.
We are all back to work and school now. As much as I savor the breaks, rountine does have it's advantages.