Rainbow

Thank you, God, for your subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) reminders that you love me!

An old friend of mine posted a link to an infant's Caringbridge page on Facebook. Saddened that this may be my friend's baby, I opened up the link. It was not her baby, but someone's baby none-the-less. This is the first thing I read : "Harlow earned her wings this morning". Wow, I immediately felt a rush of sorrow and heartache run through my entire being. I read through this families heartbreaking journey caring for their terminally ill baby girl. While I was trying to clear the massive lump that had formed in my throat, I prayed. Prayed for these young parents who's baby had just 'earned her wings'.

Going home for lunch the next day I was stopped at a stoplight. My heart was heavy as I thought of the many young people I know that are either fighting a terminal illness or have recently lost their battle. I have watched as their loving parents pray and nurture their babies, knowing that God has a plan for their child that was very different from their own.

As I sat at that stoplight I thanked God for giving me my 2 beautiful children, for allowing me to love another human more than I knew possible. I thanked Him for their health. God gives us so much...and He also takes away. Humbling. I was going through an act of self-torture as I put myself in these other parents shoes when they were told of their children's health. I pictured the doctor telling me that one of my daughters was ill and that there was nothing they could do. I felt helpless, weak - the massive lump in my throat was back. As my eye filled with tears something caught my attention on the passenger door of my Volkswagon. A reflection of a rainbow, an arched spectrum of color - like a perfectly drawn rainbow. God's promises!

God doesn't promise me tomorrow. God doesn't promise me that my children will be healthy. God does promise to love me. And if He loves me, he will comfort me.

Thank you, God, for sending me a special message while I was 'stuck' at the red light!

Leah and I visited the High Point Public Library this week. I was searching for some decent workout DVD's that I could do at home. Our library is truly fantastic and I do not utilize it nearly enough. We were on our way up the stairs to the third floor where I began my search. To be honest, I was griping in my mind about how poor pitiful me cannot afford my gym membership anymore and that I am now reduced to doing aerobics in my living room (and, according to my husband, make the whole house shake when I jump!! So encouraging). I found a couple that looked tolerable and Leah and I started down the steps to the children's section. As we were walking down the steps Leah pointed to a large window revealing a room of people on computers. She was curious about why they were using the computers at the library and not at home. There were so many people in there, people of all different ages, races, etc. So....here I am feeling sorry for myself because I can't go to the YMCA yet I CAN go home in my yoga pants and tshirt and surf the Internet. I don't have to drag my kids out of the house on a cold night so they can finish their homework or so I can check my emails. Spoiled I am! I take so much for granted. My heart has been heavy this Christmas for several families that I know that have suffered the loss of a child this past year. Yet I have my children safe and sound and healthy laughing through the holiday madness. A friend of mine in Moms In Touch refers to the often chaotic/disappointing/annoying experiences of our lives with children as her joy. When your children come in the house and tracks mud from one side to the other....that is your joy that your children are healthy enough to have been outside playing. When you child drops the milk jug on the floor while pouring a glass of milk...that is your joy that they are able to use their arms to pour them a glass of milk, there are many that cannot. When you find permanent marker on your wall...that is your joy that your child has been creatively expressing themselves through art. You get the point. So much easier to sit behind my computer when it's quiet and write this than to be in the middle of one of these events. Find the joy in your life, I am.

Long time...

Well, I had all the intentions in the world to document life happenings in this blog. However, I haven't blogged in .... actually I'm not sure when the last time was! So much for committment.
Our white Christmas flew by. The kids had 2 weeks off of school and I only worked 2 days during that 2 week period...lovely. The break was packed full of family functions, roller skating, ice skating, movies, staying up late and sleeping late. We went to Chris' grandfather's house, Chris' dad's house, the Gilbert Christmas get-together, my mom's house. The snow was beautiful. Although I would rather been in a warm climate, we did enjoy sledding at HP Country Club with friends. Leah loved the snowboard! Not much gets her more excited than hitting the jump! Hmmm, could this be Chris' daughter?
The girls were covered up in presents, the majority coming from the ever so giving Grammy. Giving is definetly her love language (and my stress). Not that I do not appreciate her help with material needs for the girls. I simply cannot stand clutter! And that is what 95% of the 'things' that the girls receive become - clutter. There favorite gifts included IPod Touch, Wii games, new comforters for their beds and gift cards.
We are all back to work and school now. As much as I savor the breaks, rountine does have it's advantages.